gosh, tonight im in such a foul mood! well, i started off the day pretty bad actually. stayed up the whole night reading physical diagnostic seeing that we were told to get ourselves ready for a quiz today...i have prepared my own notes but only for the first few chapters coz, ive yet to study for other subjects right? but since we were told bout the quiz last week i spent the whole night reading my notes (and that itself took me hours to finish) and the notes from the book ( and that took thrice the time compared to my own notes!) and finally at 6.30am, im starting to feel headache (the caffein has finally kicked in!) so i decided to crash on my bed for a few hours...despite the 4 chapters that i've yet to read....
well, my principle is simple. if i know that its hard for me to finish it all then i might as well have my sleep so i can refresh myself for next day to crap something that is hopefully close to the real answer or by god, at least it can make sense.....
so i set my alarm clock at 8am thinking that maybe i can still cover all of it in time....but of course, knowing me, i woke up at 10am and my exam was at 11.30am! predictable say u? yeah, i think so too...i woke up (or rather forced myself to get up from my comfy bed) and get ready for the hospital....
walked under the hot sun at 11am! sigh......
then, when we reached the hospital, the doctor took us to see the patients, and that got us thinking "did he actually forgot that we're suppose to have a quiz today?"
and apparently, he did! he forgot about the quiz! i was in awe, at that time i couldnt think of anything to say....i was thinking of my restless night trying to read, forcing infos to enter my brain and all that for nothing! and im so sure that i have to re-read it again coz i dont think i remember half of the things i read last night! man....if i knew that this would happen, i'd rather finish up my biochem notes!
so i got back to my room all stressed up from the hospital and crashed on my bed to make up for all the hours ive neglected my bed. finally i woke up at 6 something and went straight to my lap top only to find out that something is wrong with my mozilla firefox....gosh!
one thing that i know i dont have a knack for is techonology, computers or anything of sort...im just not born for it! of coz i got very depressed after that, uninstall it and reinstall the mozilla all over again.then i realised that the internet explorer and mozilla is taking forever to work...so slow! *triple sigh!!!
i pretty much spent the whole night trying to figure this out...u people might find it totally simple and tedious but for people like me who are just not born for it, this is one stressing thing to do...
and finally its working well....gosh i hope everything is fine after this. hate it when something is wrong with the computer...its too depressing!
well, i have something else to update but thats for later...right now need to gear up for biochem (dont want to look so stupid in front of yahwardiah tomorrow) and trying to finish up with anatomical patho...
tomorrow then....chioz!
Wednesday, 14 November 2007
Monday, 12 November 2007
i.t'.s b.e.e.n a.w.h.i.l.e.....since then
it has been awhile since the last time....
n i have been anticipating since then....
when will you go again?
in the morning? afternoon? evening? night? or midnight?
cant u just stay and never go away? not ever again?
and finally its happening.....
just when u let ur guards down, its strikes back!
and leaving u completely devastated.....
oh dear, electricity!
come back to mama!!!
its getting damn hot in here....
*sob, sob......
n i have been anticipating since then....
when will you go again?
in the morning? afternoon? evening? night? or midnight?
cant u just stay and never go away? not ever again?
and finally its happening.....
just when u let ur guards down, its strikes back!
and leaving u completely devastated.....
oh dear, electricity!
come back to mama!!!
its getting damn hot in here....
*sob, sob......
Sunday, 11 November 2007
H.I.L.A.N.G
Bagai semalam ku bersua
Wajah yang memiliki cinta
Masih teguh kupelihara setia
Sanggup kau tinggalkan semua
Membawa segala
Wajah yang memiliki cinta
Masih teguh kupelihara setia
Sanggup kau tinggalkan semua
Membawa segala
Di mana ku letakkan jiwa ini
Seakan berterbangan untuk mencari tempatnya
Hatiku kan selama
Memuja dan menyinta
Kau kekasihku
Hilang
Pergi merantau
Mengapa
Tak rela diriku terjaga
Belum sedarku buka mata
Siang malam berlalu sama
Saja
Sukar untukku lepasi
Hari yang mendatang
Tak daya menahan air mata
Dan meratapi hiba menyesal dan meronta oh
Hatiku kan selama memuja dan menyinta
Kau kekasihku
Hilang
Jauh melangkah
Tinggalkan semua
Berakhirlah sudah tiada gunanya menyalahi
Sesiapa
Bangunkan daku segera
Dari lena
Jauh melangkah
Menghilang
Tiada ku kesalkan
Biarlah
Kurela
by: Dayang Nurfaizah
FINALLY, I GOT IT!
Last night i was told by my friend about the "Bersih Rally" that took place at Dataran Merdeka on November 10th, and thats like yeserday. At first i was distraught with the idea that we're having a demonstration in the comfort of my own country, my home...being in Indonesia and seeing demonstrations taking place everywhere, at all times makes me a bit phobic and nauseous when it comes to talking about demonstrations. so there i was at about 4a.m in the morning, sitting near my fridge (which is near to the door where the connection was at its best) trying to figure out what has caused this rally to happen at the first place....i mean surely there has got to be a reason as to why this is happening...there must be something that triggers fellow Malaysians to gather up and voice their opinions so that the government would hear them...and i pray to God that whatever the reason maybe i hope its a very sound reason (unlike the reasons these Indonesians have to cause such riots...its completely ridiculous!)
recalling the 3 weeks of my holiday for the eid recently ( and thats like 2 weeks ago...) i dont recall anything of significance that can cause this to happen...all i remembered, that the country was enthusiatic about our angkasawan in space and maybe the only significant event was the "fight" between Samy Vellu and M Kayveas...but lets face it, im not being racial about this, but that only involves the Indian community in the country... i am not saying that, that sole reason itself cant cause the riot to happen but i keep thinking that there has got to be something else.
so i got up just now at 3.30pm seeing that i slept at 8a.m this morning and immediately checked out the "Bersih Rally". i wanted to know what has caused this to happen...and finally
after reading "Malaysia Today" i finally understood.
During my holiday there were news involving the BPR, Anwar and tapes...i watched it like everyday, but it was rather a very short news each day and well, we know who it favors right? my mama n i were trying hard to figure it out, we know it involves the judiciary but we dont know that for sure...when i got back to medan, i often check out blogs by Zainul Arifin of The NST and even he commented on the crisis in our judiciary system but it was very brief so i dont really understand what is going on.
but now, i finally got it...i guess the man still got his touch huh? i often hope that he will just give it a break now that he's been released but the man is always on the go...well, i suppose when u have a strong beliefs on something and the need to confide the truth and fight for justice is just too strong, the phrase "let it go" seems like a blasphemy. but we cant blame him can we? he's been through a difficult time of his life and i guess thats all the motivation he needs to drive him all the way...
of course there are many other factors that contributes to the rally. seeing that the election is just around the corner (i only realised it coz the BPR is doing extra hours of work nowadays) that pretty much adds up to this.
and all they want is a fair election and a transparent system that works for everybody, everyone regardless the status and wealth. well, i have yet to vote....the next election will be the first time im voting actually and frankly speaking im pretty excited about it =)
but lets get real....i believe that a fair election can be conducted if everyone is determined to make it work. it is not impossible as it has been done numerous times before. hence we being "Malaysia Boleh" can definitely pull it off too....
but what about a fair system? democracy, not just the word itself but actually practicing it! i mean, people can talk...everyone can talk but can they really practice the values that they preached? can they walk the walk and talk the talk? its easier said than done right? and here we are, often talking about what a transparent our system really is, and how thankful we should be as a Malaysians for having a system as such etc,etc.....
i am proud to be a malaysian. compared to where i am right now, there is no other place i want to be rather than malaysia. many reasons why I and of course the fellow nations are proud to be malaysians. but for me personally, it is definitely not because of the "transparent" system that protects the citizen...im not going to say that the system is just lousy, we could have been worst right? but to me its more like translucent. if u refer the dictionary it says that translucent means not transparent, but clear enough to allow light to pass through and to me, that describes the system fine and dandy...
so why hide behind the truth? everybody is aware of this fact, and even the people in the system and the ones who helped created the system knows it. and now, the people who has obliged to follow the system for all these years has finally spoken out. they try to ask for a permit (trying to do this the right way..) but their request were being ignored. like a child who is being ignored by their parents, they grow up to be a rebel. and why is that so? to seek attention from their parents of course! and so the rally took place anyway despite all the strings being pulled to stop it...
if u read Special Reports 2007: Special Page for 10 November on Malaysia Today, u can see how determined these people are despite the hardship trying to get into the city....road blocks as far from Melaka all the way to Dataran Merdeka (for godsake la people!) its amazing really...too bad i wasnt in the country yesterday, or else i could have caught it live....
but like i said before....with great beliefs comes great determination.....
its all that it takes.......
it all started so peaceful and we know how it turns out in the end right? its just so funny in a way...are they that afraid to actually went to that length to stop them? its like beating your own children. is this a good example of parenting? is this how we should teach our children? when we are being told to practice good parenting all the time and suddenly this happens?
its amazing, beyond amazing actually....and to watch the news by al-jazeera on you tube its just sad....i kept asking myself, is this happening in my country? coz this sure looks like the news i always watch here....but seeing the masjid jamek LRT station made me realise, hell, it is my country...
that got me freaked out a bit...i was thankful coz it didnt ended with bloodshed or anything but the idea that this may happen again....its scary. im not in beauty contest to promote world peace, but before we are too busy about the world lets narrow it down to our country first.
we are indeed a proud nation and by all means we should keep it in our grasp and never let it go. i believe that no one is perfect and we all have our mistakes in past. can we erase them? no...whats done is done and should be left at that. what we can do is move on....maybe if we just learn to come clean and admit our mistakes, not trying to accuse the other party to cover up our wrong doings then maybe we can work it out. but we must remember that one shouldnt be blamed for another persons' mistakes....that is just not fair to me....and we want fairness right? maybe we can start by being fair to ourselves and from there we can work out on how to be fair to others....now, hows that for a change?
its called simple psychology....
recalling the 3 weeks of my holiday for the eid recently ( and thats like 2 weeks ago...) i dont recall anything of significance that can cause this to happen...all i remembered, that the country was enthusiatic about our angkasawan in space and maybe the only significant event was the "fight" between Samy Vellu and M Kayveas...but lets face it, im not being racial about this, but that only involves the Indian community in the country... i am not saying that, that sole reason itself cant cause the riot to happen but i keep thinking that there has got to be something else.
so i got up just now at 3.30pm seeing that i slept at 8a.m this morning and immediately checked out the "Bersih Rally". i wanted to know what has caused this to happen...and finally
after reading "Malaysia Today" i finally understood.
During my holiday there were news involving the BPR, Anwar and tapes...i watched it like everyday, but it was rather a very short news each day and well, we know who it favors right? my mama n i were trying hard to figure it out, we know it involves the judiciary but we dont know that for sure...when i got back to medan, i often check out blogs by Zainul Arifin of The NST and even he commented on the crisis in our judiciary system but it was very brief so i dont really understand what is going on.
but now, i finally got it...i guess the man still got his touch huh? i often hope that he will just give it a break now that he's been released but the man is always on the go...well, i suppose when u have a strong beliefs on something and the need to confide the truth and fight for justice is just too strong, the phrase "let it go" seems like a blasphemy. but we cant blame him can we? he's been through a difficult time of his life and i guess thats all the motivation he needs to drive him all the way...
of course there are many other factors that contributes to the rally. seeing that the election is just around the corner (i only realised it coz the BPR is doing extra hours of work nowadays) that pretty much adds up to this.
and all they want is a fair election and a transparent system that works for everybody, everyone regardless the status and wealth. well, i have yet to vote....the next election will be the first time im voting actually and frankly speaking im pretty excited about it =)
but lets get real....i believe that a fair election can be conducted if everyone is determined to make it work. it is not impossible as it has been done numerous times before. hence we being "Malaysia Boleh" can definitely pull it off too....
but what about a fair system? democracy, not just the word itself but actually practicing it! i mean, people can talk...everyone can talk but can they really practice the values that they preached? can they walk the walk and talk the talk? its easier said than done right? and here we are, often talking about what a transparent our system really is, and how thankful we should be as a Malaysians for having a system as such etc,etc.....
i am proud to be a malaysian. compared to where i am right now, there is no other place i want to be rather than malaysia. many reasons why I and of course the fellow nations are proud to be malaysians. but for me personally, it is definitely not because of the "transparent" system that protects the citizen...im not going to say that the system is just lousy, we could have been worst right? but to me its more like translucent. if u refer the dictionary it says that translucent means not transparent, but clear enough to allow light to pass through and to me, that describes the system fine and dandy...
so why hide behind the truth? everybody is aware of this fact, and even the people in the system and the ones who helped created the system knows it. and now, the people who has obliged to follow the system for all these years has finally spoken out. they try to ask for a permit (trying to do this the right way..) but their request were being ignored. like a child who is being ignored by their parents, they grow up to be a rebel. and why is that so? to seek attention from their parents of course! and so the rally took place anyway despite all the strings being pulled to stop it...
if u read Special Reports 2007: Special Page for 10 November on Malaysia Today, u can see how determined these people are despite the hardship trying to get into the city....road blocks as far from Melaka all the way to Dataran Merdeka (for godsake la people!) its amazing really...too bad i wasnt in the country yesterday, or else i could have caught it live....
but like i said before....with great beliefs comes great determination.....
its all that it takes.......
it all started so peaceful and we know how it turns out in the end right? its just so funny in a way...are they that afraid to actually went to that length to stop them? its like beating your own children. is this a good example of parenting? is this how we should teach our children? when we are being told to practice good parenting all the time and suddenly this happens?
its amazing, beyond amazing actually....and to watch the news by al-jazeera on you tube its just sad....i kept asking myself, is this happening in my country? coz this sure looks like the news i always watch here....but seeing the masjid jamek LRT station made me realise, hell, it is my country...
that got me freaked out a bit...i was thankful coz it didnt ended with bloodshed or anything but the idea that this may happen again....its scary. im not in beauty contest to promote world peace, but before we are too busy about the world lets narrow it down to our country first.
we are indeed a proud nation and by all means we should keep it in our grasp and never let it go. i believe that no one is perfect and we all have our mistakes in past. can we erase them? no...whats done is done and should be left at that. what we can do is move on....maybe if we just learn to come clean and admit our mistakes, not trying to accuse the other party to cover up our wrong doings then maybe we can work it out. but we must remember that one shouldnt be blamed for another persons' mistakes....that is just not fair to me....and we want fairness right? maybe we can start by being fair to ourselves and from there we can work out on how to be fair to others....now, hows that for a change?
its called simple psychology....
Friday, 9 November 2007
R.E.I.N.C.A.R.N.A.T.I.O.N.
Heylooooo there…
Well, I know it’s been awhile since I blog and I’ve been ignoring this blog completely since, god knows when (although it says that last article published was in August 8th) but I guess its about time that I start blogging again…
Just browsing through all the stuff that I had written here makes me realize the reason why I started this blog. It’s a way to let go all the things that I have stored with in me. Lets face it, sometimes even when ure with around the closest people in your life, u still have difficulties telling them what going in inside ou, for fear that they might not want to hear, or they might be sick and tired listening to you whining about your life all day long (and believe me when I say, I am one hell of a whiner…it’s my specialty) which of course I’m trying very hard working on it right now…. Even when they say that, if they are your true friends, they wont mind listening to your crap, but come on, get real shall we? How many loads of crap can a person take? Friends of foe, it’s still the same…of course for foe it would be much, much lesser…
So that was the reason why I started the blog. I was going through a very rough patch in my life at that time and I had to look for a place to let it all go…and I find that it works. So now, since I’m back on track and I’ve learn to deal with it I decided to give this a fresh start… we can call it the “reincarnation” of me in my blog…hehe….
So, I made a pledge to myself to regularly blog here if not everyday then every other day… so there you go…all said and done… I guess we’ll be seeing each other a lot from now on…chioz! =)
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