Tuesday, April 10, 2007
10.50pm
It’s almost 11pm and I’ve just finished editing my pharmacology project. Seeing as it is I think I have to go on-line tomorrow to look for more input for my project.
Today has been a ‘sad day’ for me. I don’t know really…but for some reason (which I’m still figuring out this very minute…) I’m really sad today. Maybe it’s my monthly call…yes! I’m blaming it all to it!! It seems to be the most logical answer as to why I’m so down today. Well, actually it’s the best answer I can come up with right now.
Come to think about it again, I didn’t start the day well anyway. I came back home trying to get it out of my head but for some reason it’s like this giant magnet that got stuck in my head and no matter how hard I try to pull it out, it just won’t come off!
And let me tell you this, when something is bugging you and you know that it’s not worth thinking of but for some unexplainable reason it’s taunting you all day long…God! It’s like sucking up every ounce of energy you have within you living you completely helpless!
Why do I care so much about what people have to say?
It’s because no matter how much I keep telling myself it doesn’t matter, somehow it does. My mother always tell me,
“Biarlah apa yang orang nak cakap pasal kita, bukannya dia yang bagi kita makan,”
That’s true, but why do I still care anyway. I think it’s because deep down inside it still matters. It amazes me how people rule their judgement. Where did the accusations come from anyway? How can you accuse so easily?
Someone used to tell me that sometimes you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Let them think all they want. There are times when you want other people to understand you so much that you want to believe what you want them to believe. But we are speaking about human beings here folks, not some bionic robot where you can set their minds according to your will. So, if you don’t think that they will understand, then just forget it! Believe what they want to believe. You know who you are, the people who matters to you knows the truth and that’s all that matters.
That’s what I keep repeating to myself the whole day and finally at 11.55pm, I’m starting to believe it.
So as you can see, it has been a very long day for me…
10.50pm
It’s almost 11pm and I’ve just finished editing my pharmacology project. Seeing as it is I think I have to go on-line tomorrow to look for more input for my project.
Today has been a ‘sad day’ for me. I don’t know really…but for some reason (which I’m still figuring out this very minute…) I’m really sad today. Maybe it’s my monthly call…yes! I’m blaming it all to it!! It seems to be the most logical answer as to why I’m so down today. Well, actually it’s the best answer I can come up with right now.
Come to think about it again, I didn’t start the day well anyway. I came back home trying to get it out of my head but for some reason it’s like this giant magnet that got stuck in my head and no matter how hard I try to pull it out, it just won’t come off!
And let me tell you this, when something is bugging you and you know that it’s not worth thinking of but for some unexplainable reason it’s taunting you all day long…God! It’s like sucking up every ounce of energy you have within you living you completely helpless!
Why do I care so much about what people have to say?
It’s because no matter how much I keep telling myself it doesn’t matter, somehow it does. My mother always tell me,
“Biarlah apa yang orang nak cakap pasal kita, bukannya dia yang bagi kita makan,”
That’s true, but why do I still care anyway. I think it’s because deep down inside it still matters. It amazes me how people rule their judgement. Where did the accusations come from anyway? How can you accuse so easily?
Someone used to tell me that sometimes you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Let them think all they want. There are times when you want other people to understand you so much that you want to believe what you want them to believe. But we are speaking about human beings here folks, not some bionic robot where you can set their minds according to your will. So, if you don’t think that they will understand, then just forget it! Believe what they want to believe. You know who you are, the people who matters to you knows the truth and that’s all that matters.
That’s what I keep repeating to myself the whole day and finally at 11.55pm, I’m starting to believe it.
So as you can see, it has been a very long day for me…
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