Straight to the heart...

I was helping my mum at the kitchen when nur kasih was on tv3. U know all this craziness towards the show? The ratings was over 3million viewers every week! So I was like... Ok, maybe I can check it out (though I already know the storyline, thanks to tiekah and fatin who were constantly updating each other)

So the part I was watching was the part when adam and katrina came home from australia after katrina had miscarriage and at the same time nur amina decided that she couldn't bear it any longer and was about to tell her parents the truth about her non-existant marriage with adam.

Adam and katrina was in the taxi when he took out a tudung from inside his bag and handed it over to katrina. She gave him a weird look, refused to wear it and she said, she would rather not be a hypocrite. Adam's reply to that was what interests me... "Kita tak perlu menjadi orang lain, tapi kita boleh menjadi seorang yang lebih baik,". We don't have to be someone else but we can be someone better...

I was quiet for awhile after hearing that... Forawhile there it was like a piercing straight to the heart. That was..... So true. Its just that its much easier said than actually doing it. I hope someday I will have the urge to be that better person. Not be forced into it...

Haih... Such a delicate matter...

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Mathematic that were not taught in school...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

> > Smart man + smart woman = romance
> > Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

> > Smart boss + smart employee = profit
> > Smart boss + dumb employee = production
> > Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
> > Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

SHOPPING MATH

> > A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________

HAPPINESS

> > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
> > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY

> > Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
> > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next.." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

courtesy of purnima devi ;D

Hmm.....

So today only husna showed up at the ward this morning. Ipit and amal datang buat catwalk jer... Then husna came to our ward, feeling all scared and stressed up coz the nurse was asking her where her friends are. In my mind, sure we can't rely on the 4 people to show up so my mind went straight to nadia la. Obviously coz she was there in the class when we were raving and ranting and she sure as hell sounds like she's a victim too.

So I msged her, "nadia, nie nurul. Kau tak datang ward ker pg nie? Ktorg tgk husna sorang2 kat ward. Korang nie biar betul. Semalam berkobar2 gile tak nak buat perangai...."

Before replying me she messaged husna first, nak mengadu la nie.... "Husna, nurul marah aku"

Then she replied this, "Aku da ckp kt husna aku dtg lmbt. ala,mcm la ko xpnah buat"

Hmm....... Pointing fingers to others now are we??

So I replied back, "Mmg la. Aku tak ckp yg ktorg nie rajin sgt. Tp aku fikir after what happened yesterday maybe things will be different for just one day. Dahla nadia...aku tak berniat nk marah kau pun. Bukannya aku rapat sgt ngan kau sampai nak marah2 sesuka hati...ktorg kesian kat husna jer..."

So in the end, NATO= no action, talk only.......




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WTH?????!!!!!

We were at ward 5 then suddenly surender called purni telling us that dr. Khaled wants to see us. We were like, "oh no.....do we have to follow his ward round too?"

So we took our sweet time walking to ward 1 happily. Then, when we reached the ward, F2 was standing around dr khaled, so we joined them. Dr khaled who was talking to a pharmacist stopped turned to us and said, "I have decided that I will resign from being your lecturer. I will not teach anymore, you can find yourself a new lecturer to teach you,"

I was like WTH??????

Rupanya, he came this morning and asked if anyone completed their clerking sheet but apparently none of the six had clerked anything! Some of them had but they wrote in the rough paper when this dude wants it written in a proper clerking sheet. He went on about why these smarty pants who claimed to come at 815am (when actually they entered the ward at 915am) but cannot even manage to clerk a single case...seriously, I totally understand where he's coming from. This dude came in for ward rounds only to find the students wandering around the ward doing nothing and when being asked for the clerking sheet no one completed theirs...mana la tak marah!!

But then again, what about us?? This is obviously not our fault. How can we take the blame for someone elses mess?? That's just ridiculous! Seriously, we try so hard to please this dude. I even came back on a public holiday for my on call just not to get on his bad side. We're all trying so hard to make this right, and these mother fuckers are trying to ruin it all!!!

Dahla tak de rasa bersalah langsung! These morons don't think they did anything wrong at all! the walking vagina even said, "tak kisahla kalau dia tak nak ajar," obviously since he is a self proclaimed genius whereas all of us are 'bodoh' (which was his very own words). If he thinks that he's damn smart and that he didn't need the consultant then that's his problem. He can go see the consultant himself and tell him that he won't be needing his teaching and spare us the trouble...

But if you think that freaking hypocrite will ever have the balls to do that, lemme me tell you this, that idiot don't even have enough balls to spare for himself!

Marahnyer dengan mangkuk2 tu! Selfish gile.....

Gosh, and to think I still have a month and a half with these people. Oh brother....

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Fw: First entry via email

Previously I tried with cloak & dagger and guess what??? It worked!!! Hahaha.....my KEJAKUNAN!!!

Will upload the picture of my brand new baby soon :) but first thing to do is to borrow camera from jaja. Sure my baby can snap photos too but just with his 3.2 megapixel it won't do justice to him...hehe....

Ok...laters! Wanna try twitter plk ;)

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-----Original Message-----
From: poisedgal26@gmail.com
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 2009 05:54:41
To: <poisedgal26.jiggy.bubba@blogger.com>
Subject: First entry via email

Hehe...I'm so jakun! This is my entry using my new baby storm :) just trying it here before I start posting to diversion....

Testing. Testing!! One two three! Hehehe.....I'm so lame ;)
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MIA GOT A JOB @ 8TV!

and guess how she got it??? all thanks to twitter!!!

haha....yeaps people. twitter alright??? who would have thought!

{me going GREEN with ENVY}

so here's what happened.. she quitted her job, then she posted something like, "hey i just quit my job. astro 8tv got any job for me???" then, all of the sudden, someone from 8tv tweet her back and asked her if shes still interested, gave her an email add to send her resume to, which so happens to be Paul Moss's.

so she sent her resume to Paul Moss and he informed her that her resume is being forwarded to all the various dept. at 8tv and to come to the office on monday. finally yesterday, she told us that SHE GOT THE JOB!!!

{me going SUPER GREEN with ENVY.....GRRRRRR!!!}

yes, she got the job....

she'll be working at 8tv.....

and im so HAPPY for her.....truly, deeply for the bottom of my heart.....IM SO HAPPY FOR U MIA!!

{still....with a twinge of jealousy yang membuak-buak!!}

but when i think of all the free passes u can get for us! auuwwww.......I <3> U!! (btw, this idea came from ur yong)

though i'd kill myself first before i ever confess in here why im so damn envy of her!! sigh 100X!!!

so difficult...

as i walked back into my house, somehow i feel so gloomy and withdrawn. trying to dismiss the thought from clouding my mind , i tried going online, tending my farm, watching The Mentalist...but heck, even that gorgeous Patrick Jane cant seem to work his magic on me this time.

so i decided to sit back, take a deep breath and think....why do i feel like this? or better yet, what exactly do i feel right now??

answer is........LONELY.

yes, i feel so lonely right now....

why do i feel lonely all of the sudden?

which brings me to another question, which i believe is the core to all my trouble...

have you ever feel like, the longer u know someone, the more it seems like u dont knw a thing about them?? like, oh my god....its getting so difficult to just.............................TALK.

what happen to all those time u used to spend together?? what about all those time when being together seems like the most natural thing to do? what about that??

in the end, i still dont know what to do. but at least i know whats wrong with me.....we'll take it from here.....slowly.

so real.....

mm hmm....so real alright.

its almost scary actually....being read as if u are like a piece of paper.

which brings me to this, do you believe that there are people out there who are just gifted in the sense that they can read someone just by looking? like they can tell the type of person you are, ur wishes, ur fears, ur hopes and dreams??

sure, i believe in miracles. but still, a little scepticle here....

for all you know he is all that he says he is...

life works in mysterious ways doesnt it? ;)

terawikh @ kangar

2 words for you...........MACAM ROKET!

and im NOT exaggerating.

seriously, no doa(s) in between....senyap jer..... macam ada mutual understanding in between the imam n jemaah. saling faham memahami. mantap sungguh org kangar nie :D

habis solat isyak i thought ada tazkirah in between, tiba2 i heard "Allahuakbar!" oookay...so terus mula terawikh.

then, after the first 2 rakaat, usually kan ada some short prayers in between, ni tak.....terus habis jer bagi salam, imam bangun and terus mula the next 2 rakaat.

lepas tu, i thought okla, nie mungkin ada tazkirah pendek (i mean, ive been to medan and it was the same drill as KL) but to my surprise and horror-ness the imam got up and terus cakap "Allahuakbar" Oh no!!!! sambung terus macam roket!

and yes, that went on sampai la ke rakaat ke-8. fenatnyer diriku ini, on the way nak tachycardia rasanyer.....

i wonder, kalau makcik2 n pakcik2 tua at my house datang sembahyang sini, ntah2 kena bagi beta-blocker dulu takut kena heart attack! hehehehe!!!!

farnee....

i dont understand!

im confused here! someone please enlightened me...

so u kinda cheat the lecturer. u took another lecturer's slide show and presented it as ur own. another colleague told the lecturer what u did, but because she likes you so much (partly because the woman is senile...) so she just closed an eye on u. in the end, u got the highest score in the class so from the way i see it, you've got nothing to lose....

so tell me, why is it that u have to make it such a big issue???

why, the fact that u dont like it when people tell on u??? dahla u always got away

with all the shit that u pulled, so forgive me if other people who has to slave their asses off to get anywhere near that score u got feels so annoyed with the whole thing.

like i said, its not our job to kiss ass.

its fine that u do that, but please....the fact that u boast about it, being all 'mengada' about it, just irritates the hell out of us!

dah memang u did it, admit jer la..... ni tak, nak marah2 pulak! if u said u were sorry, and that u were pressed for time and that was the only solution u could think of, at least takd

e la org terasa sangat! nie tak, boasting about it, pastu when people pointed it out nak mengamuk!

betul2 tak faham!!!

ITS NOT MY JOB TO KISS ASS!!

seriously!!!! mengada-ngada gile la.....

dah la BITCHES like a girl!!!

hypocrite like hell!!!!

pakcik misai pangkat sarjan :D

so we were at KFC awhile ago, coz we wanted to treat ourselves before puasa starts. then, there were the two of us just chatting away, enjoying our meals...

lemme tell u this, if u know aireena, she can tell u some crap and make u laugh ur head off! yeaps, that good i tell you. so she was telling me some hilarious stories about her funny little brother and of coz, me being me was laughing at her stories coz it was so damn funny!

then suddenly, i heard a voice ahead of me, shouting something like...."Oi!" OR "

hei!" so i looked up and saw this man who was glaring at me, followed by a number of heads turning to us and that moment it hit me that he was angry coz i was laughing out loud! hahahahaha!!!!!! now, that was a first!

so pakcik misai pangkat sarjan nie was angry coz we (but i think its mostly me) was laughing oh-so-loudly! and the funny part was, i dun even think i was 'that' loud....seriously, if he sees my friends or better yet, if he ever sets foot in the restaurant while my groupmates are around, hahahahaha.......pengsan la pakcik tu!

thats not all. after aireena and i was done with our story, we got up to wash our hands and when we turned around, we noticed he had his whole family to turn around to look at us!

man....marah sungguh pakcik misai nie nampaknyer!

cool okay pakcik.....just chill ;)

ps: nasib baik meowth was facing the wall...kalau dia nampak muka pakcik tu, n muka org2 yg pusing pandang our table, stress la nampaknyer meowth nnt. hehehe.....

Potong Saga!

this was linked to me by a friend...

watch it! its hilarious!!

so, here's some info about the film (taken from 15MALAYSIA)

"15Malaysia is a short film project. It consists

of 15 short films made by 15 Malaysian filmmakers. These films not only deal with socio-political issues in Malaysia, they also feature some of the best-known faces in the country, including actors, musicians and top political leaders. You may think of th

em as funky little films made by 15 Malaysian voices for the people of Malaysia."

and yes, just like what they said.....its free movies for everyone. you wont be charged single dime ;)

p/s: i would luuuurrrveeeeee to watch all the movies but damn, im pressed for time! st

upid radiology crap to be sent by tomorrow! damn....

various meanings of Douche Bag

douche bag

(n) {French, fr. Italian "doccia"}
1. An object used for vaginal hygeine.

2. A person that is a tot

al moron and doesn't think before he/she speaks or acts.
3. One with an undescribeable idiocy, hence stupidity, poor idea of what's cool, possibly an arrogance about them.4. One with an intolerable personality.

5. Somebody who you think is a complete retard and doesn't know anything about what they're talking about. 6. Someone who; talks shit, starts shit, wont finish their shit, &&and the end of the day still thinks they own the universe. closely related to; asshole. 7. Individual, or individuals who piss you off on good days, and piss you off even more on bad days. Examples: 1. A vaginal cleaning is simply incomplete without a proper douche bag. 2. Douche bags have been known to add small numbers with calculators and call it "business math." 3. Man oh man, a crowd of complete loser douchebags just rolled into the club and not sirprisingly, all the women rolled out the other side and left. Now it's a giant sausage fesitval and we are all screwed. Guess I'll go write a rap song. 4. "God, he walks around and acts like hes the best thing in the world when really no one likes him. what a douche bag." 5. What a stupid Douche Bag, he has no clue what he is talking about!

inspirational quote

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves,"

-Carl Jung-

how true that is.....

especially at times like these when im constantly annoyed at something or somebody...

gosh!

i wish i can be more igno

rant. theres another saying that goes, " what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger,"

so technically, if it doesnt matter to you, it wont bother you but if you look at it

as a lesson to be learned, it can make you a better person.

now moving on to the next question, how do i shut these things out of my radar and be able to say that it doesnt matter to me at all??? coz the thin

g is, even when it didnt concern me or even if it does a little, i tend to take it pretty hard and that just annoys the hell out of me. man.... see how things get complicate as we speak??? in addition to the fact that i feel like im slowly mutating my

self to be the person that i dont want to be...

in the end i know its about self preseverance. if ure strong on the inside, you'll not be easily swayed. maybe if i start pretending that it d

idnt matter to me, in time i should be able to actually BELIEVE that myself!

hahaha.......my ramblings!

MAK CONTOH OF THE YEAR

a huge cricket landed on the floor...

"eweeeuuu.........besarnyer cengkerik tu! sayang, pegi makan benda tu cepat!"

oh brother, what kind of mother is that? asking the child to eat the cricket.....

i tell u, people nowadays....

sigh.....

and the story goes like this......

this is the day, the moment of truth. deep down, she had always known that she couldnt put off the dreaded moment forever. its bound to come sooner of later. its now or never! oh, what was i thinking?, she scolded herself. but she realised, there is no turning back. time was not on her side.



as she waited in agony for her turn, she looked at all the cars that came back to the station. some came back with the same driver and some came back with a different driver. in short, they didnt make it. oh, she thought, she had been there before. not once but twice. the public humiliation of having to walk through the crowd who was staring at her, or at least she thought they were all staring at her and saying, "ala, ciannyer ngan budak tu... dia fail exam tadi. aku nampak org JPJ tu yg drive balik. cian...." oh, the pain!! she told herself.



what about the driving instructor? she recalled the conversation she had with the woman a couple of days ago. "nanti, awak buatla muka kesian kat pegawai tu. cakapla kat dia, nanti awak dah tak sempat nak ambik ujian lagi. mana tau dia boleh kasi pass,"



man, the woman must have thought, "muka budak nie, sedih betul aku tengok. dah ambik 2 kali exam pun still ketaq2. hmm...nak kena bagi tips la cam nie.kalau tak, sampai aku berjanggut pun tak pas2 lg...haha...." (evil laugh!) oh, aku dikutuk!!



finally, it was her turn. she walked slowly towards the car. all the tension is making her jittery. before she realised it, she was already climbing into the car. she climbed slowly, gasping for breath. do this right, oh please do this right! she kept reminding herself. then, the officer got into the car.



so she started with the seatbelts, the rearview mirror, etc....(sorry for the 'etc' writer has forgotten the drill, its been ages!!) and next thing she knows she was already on her way out of the station, onto the road.



yes, she was very afraid... she was contemplating, should she do it? how is she suppose to do it? where should she start? oh man......this sucks! she told herself. at the same time she was trying to focus on her driving. she cant afford to fail, she thought. she had already spent her own pocket money on this! 350 bucks for-god-sake! that's a month worth of food!!! all of the sudden, the courage that she never knew she had within her took control. her mind, body and soul is now.....one.



with no hesitation, the daredevil in her spoke, "encik, boleh tak tolong pass kan saya. saya dah 4kali ambik ujian nie. saya dah nak masuk matriks lepas nie. nanti dah tak sempat nak ambik ujian nie lagi.tolong la encik...tolongla..." she said, making the most pitiful face ever, spinning the tale of her sob story hoping that the officer would take notice.



the officer looked at her and said, "iye, saya cuba tolong. cuba drive baik2. tengok cermin.sekarang belok kanan, bagi signal dulu....pelan2..." in the end, the driving test became like another driving class for her and yes, for the first time after 3times taking the test, (walaupun dia cakap kat pegawai tu dah 4kali ambik test) she was the one who drove the car back to the station which of coz meant that she passed!! wow-eeeee, junior juice!!!!



but then, before leaving, the officer reminded her, "ha...nie saya bagi pass. kena practice lagi tau," dengan muka yang sedikit cuak, she nodded and left.....happily! for the first time, she was not walking the public shame coz well, she passed!! thats the most important thing!!



and with that, she walked happily to the office to inform them that she passed...

Dr Kimot In the House!!!

happynyer!!!

kimah dah jadi doktor :D hehehehehe..............

okla, maybe im overly excited, but what the heck! my buddy is now officially a DOCTOR!!!

well for those u who have no idea how much that means well, lemme tell you this, it means everything!!! all the hard work for YEARS, which includes the sleepless nights, long hours of torture (by many people), continuous palpitations before and after examinations, aching legs (seriously, the hospital is already as big as it is and these doctors walk like they're in some walkathon or something! cepat gile!!! man, can they work those legs or what???!!) amongst other things has been paid off!! hahaha!!!

just the thought of it send chills down my spine!!

p/s: kimah, kau doakan aku pulak ok??? walaupun lama lagi nak grad....tp sentiasa jer dalam ketakutan :'(

pps: tomorrow got mid test for psych. still got tons of things to cover!!! *sob sob!!

arrghhhh!

marahnyer!!!

some people are just born stupid arent they????? where the hell are their @*#%-ing brains?????

where is the rationale for not coming to ur *%&#-ing presentation, telling people to cover up ur $#!^ so that u can go to a very insignificant football match for the sole purpose of menggatal????

its absurd!!!! ABSOLUTELY BIZZARE!!!!

to top it all up, asking other people to go pick up her stupid assignment (dahla rumah jauh gile, totally out of the way) while shes lazying at home?????? ingat org lain kuli ker??? like we have no other things to do other than pleasing 'your highness'????

total bull*@!#

pi kahwin cepatla!!! gosh!

what we did for THAT ONE HOUR.....

well, since kangar is very, very, very far away from capsquare and we know deep in our hearts that there is no way this magical land of nowhere will ever come close to capsquare so we decided to celebrate earth day our way...

lilin-lilin yang telah dinyalakan


as u can see, its very dark coz our friend here did not know how to change her camera to night mode. so, in the still of darkness our friend pun cuba mencari manual camera yang telah dibeli setahun lepas and evidently, manual itu masih dalam plastic yang belum dibuka lagi....cari punya cari but tak jumpa2 so in the end we tried without the flash and this is the end result.

in case if any of u is wondering what was that shadow above above the candle, its my HUGE ARM. its either because its the closest thing to the candle which explains why its so clear or the fact the its the biggest thing there!* sob2x!!


and the camwhoring session began......


kay zee in the dark :))




someone trying to be artistic here.....

pretty occupied we'rent we? ;)

Nur Anzelima Siregar...

Losing someone is never easy.

especially when they are someone so dear to your heart.

after having to go through such a great loss, i thought nothing else will ever hurt me the same way again....

but i was wrong......

its never easy and the worst part, it will always remind you of your previous loss.



buat temanku yang sering mewarnai hari-hariku, walaupun untuk sebentar cuma. selamat tinggal Angel, semoga tenang disana.....

after so many times trying.......finally!

OH MY GOD!!!! ive been trying over and over again to log in to blogger but i couldnt seem to log in! and its been weeks!!!!

and this is just a short one by the way, coz its 6.30am now and i was studying for my psych pretest at 9am later when all of the sudden i feel like trying my luck again using IE and it worked! haha.......

yes i know, i owe oh-so-many updates here...will be happily to oblige that just as soon as im done with my pretest (ada lagi satu topic nak cover nie...)

okla, duty calls! laters :))

getting to know myself better

jaja tagged me on fb (http://www.quizbox.com/personality), but im just too lazy to log in to my fb so i post it here. its scary coz it pretty much describes me very well. especially the part bout being the listener and being scared to go into my professional career! hell, thats an understatement, its more like being terrified!! haha.....

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

the hardest choice...

got this interesting quote from minekey,

The hardest choice involves letting go of someone you adore...

SO,

If you love her, date her. If you still love her, move in with her. If you still love her, marry her.

i thought that was so sweet ;D ...hehe..... *wink!

everybody ber-blog!

its amazing really! most of my girlfriends have blogs! hehe..... and some of them are soooooooo rajin, its almost like wow! kimah has 46 posts in january alone!!!!! tu almost 2 posts per day!!!! mantap gle tu......hehe..... nie yg nak rajin ber-blog balik nie!

haha....but knowing me, rajin bermusim jer nie...... but hey, im always trying rite??? if uve been following then u'll know how much ive tried.

well, next week im back to school, so i guess i'll have more stories to share. u know how things are in my college rite? the never ending drama....

okies, until then....toodles!!

In the loving memory of.......

This morning I got out of my bed and the first thing my mum said to me was, It has been 2 months since ur father left us.I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just kept quiet.

So many things had happened in the past 2 months. We moved on, just like he wanted us to. My mum is now doing what she does best, making kuih. I think shes doing great. Not only that it takes her mind off his absent but we’re making money too, which is very good! Who knows that making kuih brings in lots of RINGGIT??? Ka-ching ka-ching!! Well, at least its enough for the both of us.

In another story, my sister got married last Wednesday. It was a small ceremony but it got most of the family members together. I wasn’t around coz I was in medan. A real waste, I must say. Though I think it would have been a whole lot different if he was around. Its amazing really, to think just an absent of someone can change so much. in the end, we have to make do with what we have right? I now have a vague idea of how my wedding should be.hehe….

As for the rest of the family, I guess we are all doing great. Sure, we all have our ups and down but hey, that’s what makes life worth living right?

Now after 2 months, the only remaining of him is the memories he left us with. I still cross my parents bedroom, glancing at the door thinking that he will call me from his bed. I can still remember him saying, “Eh, eh! Nak pergi mana tu?” with his funny expression and his heart-warming smile, its almost like a dream. Even back then, the last 6days I spent in the hospital with him, I knew in my heart that was leaving us, very deep down within me I kept imagining how will my life be like without this man who was laying helplessly before my eyes. Can I handle it? Can I force myself to move on? How do I pick up the pieces? Where do I go from there? I cant even begin to tell u how tormenting that was. Even when I shed tear in front of him coz I just cant bear seeing him in pain, and he held my hand and said to me, “Jangan nangis,” God, if only I can do that…if only I can hide my tears and pretend to be as strong as him. Evidently, that’s one trait I did not inherit from him.

As the days passes by, I look at my family. There are just so many of us, regardless of whose womb we came from he was the one who brought all of us together. Even without his presence, the aura and the glue that sticks the family together is still there. I don’t know what will happen in years to come. Will we still be the way we are? Or will we be parting ways and never hear from each other ever again? I have no faintest idea…

If there is one regret that I have right now, is the fact that I didn’t tell him enough of how much I really love him. Despite all the arguments we used to have, he always has the best place in my heart. I hope he knows how much he meant to me.

When I was a baby, there he was, singing prayers to my ears, trying to get me to sleep. In the last days of his life, there I was, singing the exact prayers to his ears, to keep his mind on The Almighty and The Merciful. I hope someday, I can do the same thing to my child and hope that my child will do the same for me.

“Ya Allah, ampunilah dia, rahmatilah dia, ‘afiatkanlah dia, maafkanlah dia, muliakanlah persinggahannya, luaskan tempat masuknya, bersihkanlah dia dengan air salji dan air dingin, dan sucikanlah dia daripada segala kesalahan sebagaimana dibersihkan kain putih daripada kotoran, dan gantikanlah untuknya rumah yang lebih baik dari rumahnya, keluarga yang lebih baik dari keluarganya dan pasangan yang lebih baik dari pasangannya. Masukkanlah dia ke dalam syurga dan lindungilah dia dari azab kubur dan api neraka,

“Ya Allah, dia adalah hambaMu dan anak hambaMu yang sangat berhajat kepada rahmatMu, sedangkan Engkau Maha Kaya dan tidak berhajat untuk mengazabkannya. Sekiranya dia seorang yang baik, maka tambahkanlah kebaikannya, dan sekiramya dia seorang yang tidah baik, maka maafkanlah segala kesalahanya,”

~~~ so cute! hehe..~~~