> > Smart man + smart woman = romance
> > Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
> > Smart boss + smart employee = profit
> > Smart boss + dumb employee = production
> > Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
> > Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
> > A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
> > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
> > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
> > Smart boss + smart employee = profit
> > Smart boss + dumb employee = production
> > Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
> > Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________
SHOPPING MATH
> > A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
> > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
> > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
> > Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
> > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next.." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
> > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next.." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
courtesy of purnima devi ;D
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