WISHING FOR THE STARS

TUESDAY, March 25, 2008 2.59AM

Keep telling myself to wake up from my dream, stop hoping for miracles and realize that the world is just as it should be. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is trying to convince yourself to accept the fact that u know deep down inside is the whole truth. For some reason its just too difficult to stop acting foolish and learn to accept reality.

Its true what they say, truth hurts.

The question is how do I live with that?

A friend of mine used to tell me that, some problems should just be left at that. No solution required. No need to formulate one, its just a waste of time. Like an antibiotic he said. When there’s a sickness u rely on antibiotics to do the job. So ure fine and healthy in no matter of time, but then, after some time a stronger antigen attack ur immune system. U become resistant to the previous antibiotic therefore u need a bigger dosage or another stronger antibiotic to do the job. So, the cycle continues. Is it ever ending?

This whole process has become very tiring after awhile. I used to rely on those antibiotics, as it is more convenient and easier for me. A mere human I am, how can I afford to ignore such luxury?

But after awhile, a sudden realization hit me…

How long am I letting myself trapped in this spiral of never ending dilemma?

Is it all worth it?

What happen to courage and confidence?

Maybe its time to move on. Its about time to prove that I can live without those antibiotics. They weren’t meant to last anyway.

I have to gather my confidence and strength. As difficult as it is, I must. Too much pride within me, now how can I stoop down that low?

Forget the antibiotics, its not worth it.

awkward

SATURDAY March 22, 2008 8.52PM

I guess its something that we all go through… but to tell u the truth I really detest it. its really annoying. U know u should just be urself and u don’t have to go to extra length to impress other people but heck, for some stupid, unexplainable reason u just cant get ur palm to stop sweating! Or ur hands to stop shaking, or for god sake, try to sit still and not move around ur chair! (macamla the chair is too big!)

So in the end u just make urself look like a fool!

Haih………..

To comfort ‘ur’-self…u keep telling ‘ur’-self that maybe ‘ure’ just not use to it…given time, say maybe after 3 of 4 meetings maybe ‘u’ will…. but still, does that change the fact that u just made urself look like a fool? Hell, no!

Tsk, tsk, tsk to ‘ur’-self……

KAY ZEE in d house!

Okay, I better type this before I completely forget about it…(an initiative to be a good blogger….round of applause for nurul!!) *clap, clap, clap…..

I just got back from KL, took the bus to Kompleks Kepala Batas (again….i put the money at the wrong place!) reached the complex, called aireena then about 15mins later, I was already in the car. So as we were cruising along the road with a traffic light ahead of us, aniza saw a kitty in the middle of the road. She was so frightened! Cars speeding down on her both sides, (dah la very laju sebab nak kejar traffic light before it turns red) and there she was in the middle of the road looking terrified for her life! so kesian!!!!

So aniza asked aireena to stop the car and she went to the middle of the road trying to get the kitty! (atta jaja-kinokun, super cat saver!) then to our surprise, the kitty ran to aireena back wheel and hid herself in there! Oh brother….we were like, what the hell is the kitty doing in there??!! So there we were trying to coerce the kitty to get herself out of the wheel. Aniza even tried to squat down to get the kitty out, but I was thinking…erm, we’re kinda in the middle of the road, what if some lorry man got so excited looking at her squatting with her ms. Bun-bun facing the road and decided to give at a spank with his lorry???!!!!!

Oh brother…..

Then, like a godsend from heaven, this abang came to the rescue! At first he thought something is wrong with our car, then when jaja-kin dramatically explained about the poor kitty I thought he was gonna drive away. But he did not! Instead, he parked his motorcycle and squatted to get the kitty out of the wheel. Bear in mind, this is an abang squatting okay! If some makcik got excited over it?? man, I don’t want to think about that!

kitty still wont come out. So he walked to the other side of the road, got himself a stick and tried poking kitty to come out. Then finally kitty was in the road. Abang tried to pull her two back legs but she started shrieking so loudly, I thought she was gonna die in there or something! Finally, she let go (or he made her let go…I don’t know!) but the next thing I saw, the abang brought kitty up and gave it to jaja-kin. Kitty looked so freaking scary alright! Such a small, frail body but yet she gave me a fright when she shrieks! Reminds me of this movie; The mask. Remember when the baby put on the mask? Baby looked scary!! Jaja-kin pulak was contemplating whether to bring it home or just leave it there.

Finally we decided to take it back with us. Aireena who was in the car all this time covering her face with a pillow, was shouting “dahla, masuk…jom balik!”

So, how long were we there making a scene? (I swear there was a small jam…..haih, typical malaysians!) aireena cakap, “ dah 5 kali traffic light tu tukar jadi hijau” so adalah dalam 7-8mins camtu…

In the car we were all looking at kitty. Kitty was already calm in jaja’s hands and she looks so damn cute!! Comot here and there but oh-so-cutie-pie! Looking at how jaja was staring at the kitty, I knew
shes gonna keep her. So I asked jaja and ai what should we call her? I suggested meow, but ai said she doesn’t wanna share name with a kitty…hehehe…then jaja suggested Katty and aireena came up with zilla coz she looked like a freaking Godzilla on the road just now. But I thought Katty sound like a girls name. so finally we agreed to name her Kittyzilla a.k.a Kay Zee……of course, Kitty can also be a girls name, but at least its cuter for our Kitty….

So there you go, another member of the family….kay zee!!

Welcome to the family :)

happy valentines day everybody :)

its 14 feb....and its valentines day :).... just dropping by to wish all my fellow friends and family happy valentines day....




to my parents who has been there for me all this while especially to my mum who has been extremely supportive, i want u to know that i love u soooooo much...u mean the world to me :)

and to my bestfriends, gowri and joyce (yes, beruk...ure included too)...thank you so much for being there for me always. believe it or not, 10years has pass us by. so many things has happened and even when there were times we had to go to hell and back, we survived and we made it! yay!!and we've grown so much over the years. joyce especially, u change a lot!and im so happy for u. hope this valentine will be more special for u joyce :) to dearie gowri, thanx for hearing me raving and ranting for the past 10 years and believe me, no one else can stand it like you do...(except for aniza of coz, but she's stuck with me, so no choice la! hehe....) miss u so much gow....come home quick so we can ber-kecoh again :)

to hubbykinz, jaja......eventhough i always kutuk u, u know that i dont mean it right? thank you for being there, showing me the right way. thank you for just listening to me (when ure just lazy to comment)....ive been so used having u around for the past 3 years, it felt different last 6 months without u, but im very glad that i have u right next to me this very minute...hehe....(currently raving over the fact that she cant go to celine dions concert)

to all my friends, you know who you are.....thank you so much for ur love and kindness to me. all the way from SSP to sri aman to asasi and finally friends in medan-ACMS.....thanks for everything....so many names, sorry if i miss out ur names....

Love,
Nurul'Ain Mat Kassim :)

the MARTIANS

men are weird creatures....they say that women are weird creatures from venus but lo and behold! the aliens from mars are way worse....maybe im being bias about this. being a woman i guess ive understood the symptoms of women. so when i sense any abnormality, first thing to do is to STAY AWAY (dont want to get dragged into something that doesnt concern me!) and then i'll come up with a diagnosis....hehe....



not a right way to think as a doctor....



its just that, if things doesnt work as it should be, why cant they just act normally and remain friends? is it too hard? why the distance? why the coldness? it hasnt even begin, so why the sudden change?? i really dont understand.... to think that some of them are supposedly more mature than the others...



so my advise is simple...handle it just like the above. i suppose it should apply to all mankind...to quote a friend, 'if they dont come looking for u, why spare time looking for them?"